”Basically I’m saying that we don’t have the right to insult people because we have been well educated and can see that everyone should be treated justly, fairly, equally. Surely we should be helping and educating people instead of calling them ‘stupid, thick etc’ then going back to our lovely white middle-class bubble.”

You mention class there. Maybe I’m reading this wrong, but your poitn appears to be that middle class people have no experience of racism. that if you’re white and middle class then you live in a “bubble” away from racism or prejudice, but as someone who grew up on a council estate, and goes to a fairly posh sixth form, I can tell you that in my experience both groups have elements of racism.

Debate only works with reasonable people, which isn’t a category that someone who believes in a “pure race” fits into. I’m not saying we shouldn’t debate with racists, just that fascism is not a credible political ideology. Yes it leads to isolation and division. But that’s good, because it shows that fascists aren’t equal, and that if you want to be accepted by society, you need to understand that human beings should be judged by their actions, not by things they can’t control like race or sexuality.

Basically, I’m just wondering exactly how you’d go about “educating” nick griffin or simon darby, and how exactly that’s anywhere near as effective as driving them off the streets physically, and driving them out of power democratically.

“I have been thinking and this is probably a controversial thing to say, but I don’t think it’s right to brand racist people ‘thick, stupid, dumb, moronic’ …

Yes their ideals may well be ridiculous, even stupid to the average person, but that doesn’t mean they themselves are stupid. They may well…”

You’re implying that all racists are working class and poorly educated. nick griffin, oswald moseley etc are/were very well educated. the daily mail is written mainly by middle class people. to say that racism is confined to a group of skinheads from a council estate is just as ignorant as many of the stereotypes that the far right themselves assume. there’s a difference between ignorance and being misinformed. i’ve grown up around racism and can honestly tell you that calling someone a wanker does more to make them grow out of racism then any debate to their (heopefully temporarily) ignorant ears will.

So two days ago I turned 18. Since then, I’ve drunk rum in a park, been told off for not eating my greens, gotten into a half hour long playfight, been chatted up by an old lady at a wake, rapped down the phone to someone, headbutted someone in the ass, almost gotten myself and sandwell into a fight with a drunken old man, had a quick nap on one of the tables at the barrels, and demanded that a glass of cider apologise to me.

Any fears that turning 18 has brought out a more responsible, mature side of my personality have been firmly put to bed.

Something I’ve never understood.

Some swearwords are worse than others, apparently.

Firstly let’s bear in mind that most swearwords have absolutely no link to modern language, and are basically just nonsense. Fuck has been traced to one of two roots, either the anagram “Fornicate Under Command of the King”, or the gaelic word “feck”, which meant much the same thing. I doubt that anywhere near a decent percentage of people who find “fuck” offensive knew that, and I honestly cannot see any other reason why that word could mean “sexual intercourse” other than the fact that everyone tells you so. On the other side of the coin is the more meaningful, imagery based swearwords, such as the casually racist, but linguistically artistic “Japseye” (Jap(anese person)’s Eye), meaning the hole in the head of the penis (not sure of the medical term). Which is as much a description as a curse. According to the BBC’s latest list of “unnacceptible content”, Japseye is to be bleeped. However, the list doesn’t mention “Spaniel’s ears”, another descriptive swear, and would place the phrase “the hole in the top of my willy” far lower down the offensive list. And I doubt an original descriptive swear would recieve a bleep either, even if it’s applied to a body part which recieves even more taboo, the vagina. “Andrew Lloyd Webber’s lips”, I assume, wouldn’t be bleeped.

But apparently, some swears are worse than others. The correct medical terms (penises and vaginas) are acceptible, but slang is not, to varying extents. For example, the big daddy of the swearwords is “Cunt”, the reasoning being that it is a disrespectful way of describing the female genitalia. Which is true, but why not censor “twat” as harshly? Why is “twat” not as bad. Neither are exactly romantic. It isn’t the roots, as “twat” apparently has it’s origins in racist slang for native american women. And if it’s measured by how bad it sounds aloud, I would say that “clunge” is the worst of the “vadjectives” as I have dubbed them. They all mean the same, and there doesn’t seem to be any correlation between the phonology of the word and how offensive people find it, so the only reason I can see why people would think that “cunt” is a worse thing to say than “minge” is because everyone says so, and because “cunt” is censored more, which just creates a vicious circly where the more a word is censored, the dirtier it becomes, while words which mean the exact same thing and, are harder on the ears, enter common pool language?

What about racist language? Well that annoys me too. People criticise black people in entertainment for using the word “nigger” too much. But I think they should say it more if anything. If black people see it as a desensitised term of endearment then it’s another weapon taken out of the racist’s arsenal. Much in the way that “negro” became a part of black slang during the civil rights movement, to the point where it is no longer an insult. If he grows up hearing his Dad and his mates call each other it, then a black child won’t cry when he gets called a nigger by an ignorant white prick. When you make a word taboo, you give it strength and make it dangerous. Call a gay person queer in the 21st century and they will most likely shrug it off, because the gay community took it away from the sort of cunts who would use it as an insult, and that’s fucking brilliant.

Another criticism of swearing is that it’s “uncreative”. Fuck, the fuck, off. No it isn’t. I take alot of pride in inventing new variations of swearwords, and I take offense to anyone describing such phrases as “Clitdick” (small penis), “Pubic Tellytubby House” (the pubic mound), Anti Paedophobia Activist” (bad person), or “Ian Cuntley” (very bad person) as uncreative.

Fucking lovely stuff.

So yeah, if you’re one of the small minority who i haven’t already nagged about turning up to this , I’ve got another gig on the 23rd of April, and between the fact that it should get a decent attendance and I’m fairly confident in my new material, i figure it should be one of the best gigs i’ve had so far(number one so far either my first ever, aka the “i need to escape the rain, fucking hell they want me to standup” gig, or maybe blue note, where the half of the room who had a working sound system went for just about every joke. comedy junction was my favourite venue, but i was met with complete silence and generally outclassed by professional comics). with that in mind i’m thinking maybe i should record it, although i’m not sure how. apparently you can send sound files into tumblr via phone, so my idea is to, while on stage, pick my favourite bit and leave my phone on loudspeaker while i’m doing it.

i probably won’t be arsed at the time, or it won’t work, or it’ll cost too much or something, but i just wanted people’s advice. has anyone send a file down the phone to tumblr before? how’s the quality? is it a listen to the sound of my own voice on my ipod  mp3 file?

thanks if you can help, and if i haven’t already advertised enough:

23rd April, Royal Oak Hotel, etnam street, Leominster (2 mins walk from train station)

featuring bands such as KGB Slideshow, Girls on Film, The Declined, Dandelion Killers, and Unlikely Story, with comedy from yours truly.

plus free giveaways, bands trying to sell you things, good booze, a kebab shop nextdoor, and a general good time. It’s all for charity, so it’s one of the few good deeds you can do with laughing, dancing and getting pissed.

Howdo. I’m Tom. I live in a paradise of incest, dress like a nerdy, emoey supervillain in disguise, and occasionally people pay me to tell jokes, which is the closest thing to a job I have. At the moment my life is pretty pointless. For instance, the biggest achievement of the day so far is calling my firend a “wretched ape”. That’s about as deep and philosophical as I go. But next year I’m off to the beautiful city of Bath to start training as a social worker, and enjoy living in a place where the main emotion expressed isn’t a combination of anger, racism and a lust for your own sister. If you could read my blogs then that’d be great, so that you could follow me through the trials and tribulations of trying to escape an inbred town, trying to get in as many cuddles with the lovely Lydia Coombey as possible, trying to make it big as a standup comedian, despite the notable handicap of being shite, and trying to remain sane. Read along, it’ll be a right laugh.

yours optimistically,

Tom Savagar.